1 00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:03,786 [ Telephone ringing ] 2 00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,569 - What was that? - Nothing. 3 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:09,138 Did I see your last name on it? 4 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,358 It's a flier for my dad's landscaping company. 5 00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:14,970 Aww. Uh, is that your brother? 6 00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:16,319 No, I'm actually an only child, 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,321 but apparently appearing to be a family business 8 00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:19,844 helps bring in customers. 9 00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:23,109 That's- Sorry, so your- your dad, he hired an actor 10 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,546 to play his son instead of just asking you? 11 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,243 Yeah. 12 00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:28,592 I think I'm confused. 13 00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:30,246 You're not. 14 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,683 Well, he fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? 15 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,903 I'd like to climb that family tree. 16 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,558 [ Giggles ] 17 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:42,084 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 18 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:51,528 ♪ 19 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,704 Okay, so the writing prompt is as follows- 20 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:57,404 you're gonna write a paragraph about a cat with a silly job. 21 00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,841 I know. It's silly, but it's fun. 22 00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,844 And then after we're finished, you're gonna read them aloud- 23 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,237 Um, sorry, Zara and Joya, 24 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,760 why are you guys not in your assigned seats? 25 00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:08,371 Well, she keeps taking all the stickers off my folder 26 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,590 and then putting them on hers. 27 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,113 No, I'm not. 28 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,115 She keeps hitting me and taking my pencil. 29 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,725 That was my pencil, dummy. 30 00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,771 Oh! Okay. No. 31 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,033 That's enough. 32 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:20,514 We will treat each other with kindness. 33 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,820 Now, please, get up and go back to your regular seats. 34 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,953 You don't get to decide where you sit. 35 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,216 So, Zara and Joya don't get along the best, 36 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,827 and lately, it's been getting worse. 37 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:32,265 Kids rub each other the wrong way from time to time, 38 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,397 but it's okay, no problem. 39 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,920 I know how to handle these things. 40 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,662 I've watched so many unlikely animal friend videos 41 00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:42,276 that I don't even know what "unlikely" means anymore. 42 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:46,496 I'll beat you up. 43 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:49,325 I'm pretty sure that was "I'll beam you up." 44 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:52,111 Like, clearly, she's a Trekkie. 45 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,201 She wants to beam her up on her ship. 46 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,160 Her friend-ship. 47 00:02:09,136 --> 00:02:13,393 My dad's in town for a big landscaping job, 48 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,917 and he wanted to stop by to see where I work. 49 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,441 Probably so he could tell me what he finds unsatisfactory 50 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:20,791 about it to my face... 51 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:21,842 with love. 52 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,361 Dang, can you blink? 53 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,797 Is this one of those "Stranger Things"? 54 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:30,627 What's your favorite song, Gregory?! [ Laughs ] 55 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,629 Dad. Hello. Welcome to Abbott. 56 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,501 Thank you for having me, son. 57 00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:36,372 I'm Lt. Colonel Martin Eddie. 58 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,375 - Ten hut. - At ease. 59 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,638 Here's my business card. 60 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,379 Let me know if you have any landscaping needs. 61 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,207 Eddie Lawn and Care can take care of any job 62 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,208 during any season. 63 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,731 Mm. 64 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:49,951 Don't look at me like that. He gave me his number. 65 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,722 Let me get you checked in, and then I'll show you around. 66 00:02:52,723 --> 00:02:56,131 Your Hotmail account is very brave, Mr. Eddie. 67 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:59,744 I wouldn't trust a landscaper with any other e-mail service. 68 00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,877 [ Mouthing words ] 69 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,228 You doing your taxes? 70 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,664 You know you can claim stray cats as dependents? 71 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:10,276 [ Scoffs ] Taxes. People still doing that? 72 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,538 No, I'm trying to crunch the numbers 73 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,453 on my fantasy football squad to find out 74 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,281 why Mr. Johnson beat me. 75 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,847 It was that damn Garoppolo. 76 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:20,243 That's the last time I draft based on hotness. 77 00:03:20,244 --> 00:03:23,680 What are you doing? You already took that. 78 00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,508 Looking for your fantasy football team, 79 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,857 'cause it's trash. 80 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,424 Well, now you about to face me in the finals, 81 00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,252 and I do not respect my elders. 82 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,167 [ Whistling ] 83 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:33,473 [ Chuckles ] 84 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:34,865 There's only two things I'm scared of- 85 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,650 facing Mr. Johnson and having to kill my granny 86 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:37,912 during the zombie apocalypse. 87 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,566 You know, Mr. Johnson's always the first 88 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,350 to claim a player on the waiver wire. 89 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,265 That's why he's been cleaning up. 90 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,440 They should make him the new Mr. Clean. 91 00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,876 He's already bald. 92 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,008 [ Scoffs ] 93 00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:50,011 Oh. [ Chuckles ] 94 00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,230 Ooh. 95 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,928 Double trouble. 96 00:03:52,929 --> 00:03:56,974 Dad, this is Melissa. Melissa, this is my father. 97 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,674 You got a good end-season management strategy? 98 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,893 I'm busy. 99 00:04:01,894 --> 00:04:04,068 So, this is your lounge? 100 00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,287 Yeah. Yeah. 101 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,723 You need some plants in here. 102 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,552 [ Inhales deeply ] The air is stale. 103 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,250 Uh, don't mind us. 104 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,686 We're just green-thumbing through 105 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,949 "Better Hoods and Gardens," looking for ideas. 106 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,473 Dad, these are my coworkers, Jacob and Barbara. 107 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:20,346 Mr. Eddie, wonderful to meet you. 108 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,825 The caretakers of the flourishing 109 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:24,437 Abbott Elementary Garden welcome you. 110 00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,526 I could have sworn I saw the plants getting protected 111 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,006 from frost using cut two-liter bottles. 112 00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,443 A classic Eddie family method, 113 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:33,837 except someone improved slightly on the design. 114 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,230 Y-You say "improved"? 115 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,841 Well, gotta give it up for my girl Barb for that one. 116 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,103 Well, that and Sprite. 117 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,757 Ah, no, no, Mr. Hill. 118 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,891 That was all you, that ingenious invention. 119 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,284 No- No, it wasn't. 120 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,287 I thought you did it after you put all that mulch in? 121 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,549 Huh? 122 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,941 Well, what about the cute little labels 123 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,292 letting us know what everything is? 124 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,947 Not me. I don't know how to write in cursive. 125 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,909 Gregory. Hmm? 126 00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:04,608 Have you been secretly tending to the garden? 127 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,436 Yes. 128 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,437 For how long? [ Gasps ] 129 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,657 The entire time. 130 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,354 But I planted the daffodils. 131 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,530 You did. Just wrong. 132 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,619 They were crowding each other out, so I had to replant them. 133 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,795 Look at you, showing a little initiative. 134 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:21,929 Well- Well, what about the collard greens I planted? 135 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:25,193 That was spinach, which is not an easy mistake to make. 136 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,326 Not tolerating incompetence. 137 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,457 I like that. 138 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,676 Thank you, Dad. 139 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,634 Gregory, why would you sow secretly? 140 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,680 Why would you prune privately? 141 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:36,422 Why would you cull clandestinely? 142 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,641 - Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot? - Are you done? 143 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,817 Barbara, hit him one more time. 144 00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:44,387 Why would you be tight-lipped about tilling? 145 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,824 Everything we planted was a lie? 146 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:48,956 No, no, no, no. 147 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,611 Some of those, um, weeds were yours. 148 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:55,136 - Oh. - So, you just silly, huh? 149 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,965 I knew nothing could keep you out of the dirt. 150 00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,533 [ Chuckles ] 151 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,799 And he has been secretly tending the garden 152 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,150 this whole time, like some sort of 153 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,499 plant Santa Claus. 154 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:13,589 Like a Planta Claus. 155 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,374 Uh, Janine, there's a skirmish developing 156 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,636 that needs your attention. 157 00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,377 Yes, uh, Zara and Joya? 158 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,987 I am aware. It's in process. 159 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,510 They weren't getting along earlier, 160 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,512 so I made them buddies for the week. 161 00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,732 Quality time will nurture understanding, 162 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,038 and, you know, it'll lead to a beautiful, 163 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,693 blossoming flower of a friendship. 164 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,739 I say "flower" because we were talking about the garden. 165 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,785 I thought it was because you're dressed like a peony. 166 00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,352 Anyway, trust the process. 167 00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,485 Before you know it, those two will be inseparable, 168 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:43,489 like peas and pods and- 169 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,490 [ Grunts ] 170 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,491 [ Child and Janine gasp ] 171 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,710 Dang! You got milked! 172 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,321 Oh, no, no, no, no. Nope, nope, nope! Nope! 173 00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,453 No, no. 174 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:52,889 Yeah, just trust the process. 175 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,979 [ Children grunting and arguing ] 176 00:06:56,373 --> 00:07:00,070 So, I heard one of your kids got hit in a milk-by. 177 00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,637 Just kicking the dust off their friendship. 178 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,378 I don't think they like each other. 179 00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:04,597 Okay, guys, you know what? 180 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,250 These kids should be able to get along, 181 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,730 and I can get them there. 182 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,385 Yes. Look, my mom and sister used to fight all the time, 183 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,734 and I would mediate. 184 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,910 I was both the crisis negotiator and the hostage. 185 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:15,608 I was Jack Bauer and Jack Bauer. 186 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,261 And now they're closer than ever. 187 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,220 Doesn't your sister live in Colorado? 188 00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:21,265 Physically, but emotionally, she never left. 189 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,093 I don't know. Some people just hate each other, 190 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,573 and that's fine. 191 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,532 That's right. I don't like Janine, and it's going great. 192 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,011 Well, I'm a pacifist. 193 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,623 You mess with me, I'm-a pass a fist across your face. 194 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:32,581 Well, I don't hate anyone. 195 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,931 Except for Jimmy Dontel-Anderson. 196 00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,455 - Goodnight. - Yeah, in sixth grade, 197 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,760 he threw a handful of grapes at me 198 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,893 while I was doing my solo in "Moulin Rouge Jr." 199 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,461 One went right into my mouth, straight down my throat, 200 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,941 and I had to give myself the Heimlich. 201 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,117 Our chorus teacher didn't even stop playing. 202 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,771 She just... 203 00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,948 You know, the show must go on. 204 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:54,864 Okay, Sophia, you're up to read the family tree report. 205 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,520 Melissa, I have something urgent to discuss with you. 206 00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,609 Be right back. What's going on? 207 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,524 It's about the fantasy football championships. 208 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,960 Why'd I even ask? 209 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,440 At the end of his sermon, I heard my pastor 210 00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,268 say that Christian McCaffrey might not play this weekend. 211 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,791 Then he said some nonsense about gambling 212 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,793 not being of the Lord, but I was on my way out. 213 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,969 McCaffrey is Mr. Johnson's best player. 214 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,494 Exactly. And if I pick up his backup first, 215 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,799 like a Black woman on "The Voice," 216 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,192 he has no chance of winning. 217 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,150 Waiver wire opens at 2:00. You distract him, 218 00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,630 and then I'll pick up McCaffrey's backup. 219 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,502 Uh-huh. What's in it for me? 220 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,807 4% of my fantasy winnings. 221 00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,983 20%, and your shelf in the fridge. 222 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,857 Damn. That's where I keep my various mustards. 223 00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:35,426 The Buddy System was too surface-level for Joya and Zara. 224 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:38,429 They need to know what's going on internally with each other, 225 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,996 truly empathize. 226 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,738 So, I'm having them do a project where they trace one another 227 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,348 and then fill it in with all the things 228 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,611 that make their partner special. 229 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,613 So... Yeah. 230 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,658 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 231 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:50,833 It looks like fun. 232 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,226 I wish somebody would trace me. 233 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,837 I think I'd be like 95% "Family Matters" re-runs 234 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:58,014 and then 5% Dunkaroos. 235 00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:02,105 In conclusion, it was very nice getting to know Quagmire. 236 00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,193 It's Quahir. 237 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,369 Okay. Alright, guys. That's good. 238 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,328 [ Applause ] 239 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:09,025 Alright, um, you know what? 240 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:13,029 Let's have Joya and Zara go next. 241 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,771 Come on up. 242 00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:26,042 Here you can see that Joya is full of poop, 243 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,871 not just where you expect poop to be- 244 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,831 everywhere, especially her big head. 245 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,049 Alright, you know what, Zara? 246 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,398 That was not the assignment. 247 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:37,488 Unlike Zara, I actually did the assignment. 248 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:42,102 You can see she likes gum, Gucci flip flops, and Roblox. 249 00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,625 Okay, now, that was actually what I was- 250 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,887 I'm not done. 251 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,715 I want to talk about the outside, too. 252 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:50,806 Smelly breath, smelly farts, smelly pits, 253 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,330 because she stinks. 254 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:54,636 Whoa! 255 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,943 You know what? That's the final straw. 256 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,641 Do you two want to watch "Toy Story" tomorrow? 257 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,904 Which one? I can't do 3 again. 258 00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,776 Alright, well, you're not gonna be watching any of them 259 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,560 unless you guys find a way to settle this. 260 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,954 If you're mature enough to make the graphic drawings, 261 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:10,086 then you're mature enough to work this out. 262 00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:13,394 Find a solution or you'll be in the library for Movie Friday. 263 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,309 And we are watching the first "Toy Story." 264 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,745 The third one makes me cry. 265 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,401 So, get back to your seats, please. Thank you. 266 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:25,537 [ Cellphone vibrating ] 267 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,670 Oh, hey, Pop. I mean, uh, sir. 268 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,150 Yeah, you're funny. 269 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:31,717 I just wanted to tell you how proud I was 270 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,370 of your little gardening method. 271 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,850 Sorry? Don't be. 272 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,591 Frankly, I'm quite impressed you continued 273 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,637 our landscaping legacy. 274 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,117 Well, I couldn't let those plants just die. 275 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,554 If you're available, come help me out on this job. 276 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,948 Earn some extra cash, maybe take that Amber girl 277 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:48,908 out on a proper date to a French restaurant 278 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:51,650 that you can't pronounce. 279 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,651 You want my input? 280 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,000 Oui, oui. 281 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,306 Uh, o-okay. Yeah, sure. 282 00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,744 I'll take it.[ Cellphone chimes ] 283 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,964 So, you're taking your gardening skills 284 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,010 out into the broad daylight, 285 00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,838 Mr. "What We Do In The Shadows"? 286 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,143 It's just for a little extra cash. 287 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,194 Mm. 288 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:14,020 You look like you're trying to mute a smile. 289 00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,543 I am? 290 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:18,807 Mm-hmm. 291 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,287 I don't think my dad's ever asked for my input 292 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,897 on anything before, except for that time 293 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:24,068 when he asked if I thought I was being funny. 294 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,294 You caught me. 295 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,512 I'm happy. 296 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,992 I think I'm experiencing what they refer to 297 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,909 as Black boy joy, even though I am a man. 298 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,347 You see that? They're getting along. 299 00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,175 I haven't had a problem the entire morning. 300 00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,350 Hey! 301 00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,875 Are you the girl I'm supposed to beat up? 302 00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,311 You a little small for an eighth grader, 303 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,661 but I don't discriminate. 304 00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,706 Hey. 305 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,011 There she is. 306 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,752 That's the girl who said she's gonna beat you up. 307 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,928 I heard your sister been saying that my sister's full of poop. 308 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,408 Wait, no one's been saying anyone is- 309 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,149 And I heard your sister's been saying my sister's smelly. 310 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,368 Well, smells like your whole family smelling smelly. 311 00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,848 Fight! 312 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:03,113 [ Children shouting ] 313 00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:09,379 - Come at me, sis! - No, I ain't scared! 314 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,424 And don't hide behind that eighth grader! 315 00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,599 She can't help you! 316 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,992 Okay, I am a full grown woman, 317 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:13,819 and there is a better way to handle this, girls. 318 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:14,994 Below the belt, Keke! 319 00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,386 Smash her like she smashed my milk! 320 00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,737 Stop! You guys! Yeah, Ava, get them. 321 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,086 Only in America. [ Laughs ] 322 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,088 Hey, hey, relax. This is designer. 323 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:27,006 What in the Earth, Wind, and Fire is going on here? 324 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,398 Yeah, I don't know. 325 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,227 Zara, Joya, I asked you guys to handle this 326 00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,707 and you said you came to an agreement. 327 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,972 Yeah, we agreed that our sisters would fight each other. 328 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,236 Shame to see my queens fight. 329 00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,458 But I thought Ms. Teagues was gonna get molly-whopped. 330 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,287 [ Melissa gasps ] 331 00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,593 Hey, Tasia, come here. 332 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,247 Can you do Ms. Schemmenti a favor? 333 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:53,728 Can you take this tub of dirty paint water and empty it out 334 00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,861 in the sink in the bathroom at the end of the hall? 335 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,125 I doubt it, but I'll try. 336 00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,782 Oh. 337 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:06,959 Operation Splash Interference is in effect. 338 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,832 Ms. Schemmenti, I spilled all over the bathroom. 339 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:11,877 I'm sorry. 340 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,228 You did great, kid. 341 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,670 Ava: Attention Abbott Custodian, A.K.A. Mr. Johnson. 342 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:25,716 We have a drop and mop. Drop what you're doing and mop. 343 00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,589 Report to the girls' bathroom at the east end hallway, 344 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,809 ASAPington. 345 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,158 I haven't seen a mess like this 346 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:35,031 since the Playboy Mansion in '86. 347 00:13:36,577 --> 00:13:41,297 Okay, everybody knows that bathroom is a dead zone 348 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,299 for cell service, and he still got an Obama phone. 349 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,866 Okay, well, hurry up, because it's 2:00 350 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,781 and he mops at a rate of 4 SPMs- 351 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,391 squeegees per minute. 352 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,653 What the- What's the matter? 353 00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:50,698 Did you get him? He's gone. 354 00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:51,873 He picked up the backup. 355 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,179 But the waiver wire just opened 356 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:55,007 and he's in the middle of cell hell. 357 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,878 Well, that old man's mop bucket must have Ethernet, 358 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:57,923 because he got him. 359 00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,881 [ Crying ] 360 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,317 [ Inhales deeply ] 361 00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,625 There's no crying in fantasy football. 362 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,323 Martin: Ground's still a bit frozen. 363 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:10,501 Make sure you use that good Eddie musculature I gave you. 364 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,764 [ Chuckles ] Don't work so hard, son. 365 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:14,940 You know what happened to John Henry. 366 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,551 [ Chuckles ] 367 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:21,685 You know, uh, I've been giving it some thought. 368 00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:24,906 What if I added an "and son" to Eddie Lawn and Care? 369 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,647 Eddie and Son and Lawn and Care? 370 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,518 No. 371 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,870 Eddie and Son Lawn Care. 372 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:36,875 What about your, uh, your fake son from the flier? 373 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,006 Great model. 374 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,312 Terrible gardener. 375 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,270 [ Chuckles ] What are you trying to say, Dad? 376 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,489 I mean, we've talked about me working for you. 377 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,099 You tell me to do something, I do it, 378 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,796 you say, "Nope, not like that." 379 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,887 I then correct it, and you go, "No, that's still not it." 380 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,540 Then you say, "Fine, I'll just do it myself." 381 00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:52,673 Then I watch you do exactly what I did, 382 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,980 and then you say, "What an improvement." 383 00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,373 I'm not asking you to work for me. 384 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,899 I'm asking you to work with me. 385 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,378 Why now? 386 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,771 Look, I'm trying to get into business with you, 387 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:06,252 and eventually, I'm gonna retire and leave it to you, 388 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,863 but first, I just needed to know you could carry your own weight, 389 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,299 and you can. 390 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,259 I've never seen you more confident. 391 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,439 Ooh. 392 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,964 What a wonderful drawing of a- a poop head. 393 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,271 Yeah. My fighting students. 394 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:26,663 Oh. 395 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,665 Well, I see that you signed up for my office hour. 396 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:29,971 Oh, yeah, yeah. 397 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,018 So, I'll see you in a week and a half. 398 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,063 And what do you know? 399 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,717 Just like that, a spot opened up. 400 00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:40,199 Hmm. 401 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,591 Okay. 402 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:44,725 Alright, so, I'm upset with myself 403 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:47,510 about how things turned out with Zara and Joya. 404 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:50,731 I feel like all of my solutions just created more problems. 405 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,212 I feel like I really got my math wrong with this one. 406 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,605 Janine, this isn't math. 407 00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:59,087 The two of them just don't enjoy each other's company. 408 00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:00,436 What's wrong with that? 409 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:03,570 I'm- [ Sighs ] I'm not sure. 410 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:06,616 Just people not getting along, it makes me uncomfortable. 411 00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:10,490 Well, have you reflected on why that is? 412 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,405 No, but I have tried journaling. 413 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:13,928 Janine, has there ever been a time 414 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:17,540 where you've had to sit with conflict? 415 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:20,065 Well, yeah, my mom used to do these things 416 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,632 that would really upset my sister, 417 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:26,810 and, you know, they kind of would get into their squabbles, 418 00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:30,466 and I would get put in the middle of their squabbles, 419 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,338 and they would want me to choose sides, 420 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,818 and I just wanted it to stop. 421 00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:37,560 Mm. It was awful. 422 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,998 Even now, when my sister comes to visit, 423 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,651 she doesn't want my mom to know. 424 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:44,480 And if she does, they get all squabbly. 425 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:48,049 And as difficult as that sounds, I have to tell you, 426 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,790 this is not about them. 427 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,139 This is about you. 428 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:55,056 You need to become comfortable being uncomfortable. 429 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:58,581 Sometimes, two people just don't like each other, 430 00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:01,367 like me and that usher at church. 431 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:05,110 I'll sit where I want to sit. Mm. 432 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,676 Hey, Barbara? Hmm? 433 00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,156 See you next week for office hour? 434 00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:09,766 Wait a minute, I thought this was- 435 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,856 [ Chuckles ] Oh, Barbara. I'm gonna have a ton of problems 436 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,249 by then, too. 437 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:17,687 Janine, don't make me call a 7th grader to beat you up. 438 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,167 [ Laughs ] Not funny. 439 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,083 Now that we have our jar and our wet paper towel, 440 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,302 we're gonna take the seed 441 00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,086 and put it inside the wet paper towel 442 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,654 so that it can germinate inside the jar. 443 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,048 But remember that the seeds are very fragile, 444 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,354 so we have to take extra special care 445 00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,052 to make sure that they can grow. 446 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,577 Look, Mr. Eddie, I'm Jason. 447 00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:40,536 Okay. Now, Jordan Peele that off your face 448 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,061 so we can go through the steps of germination. 449 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,411 Wow, look at you. 450 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:47,152 Got your fingers in the mud with your pops 451 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,590 and it inspired you to embrace your roots. 452 00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,506 It went well with your dad, though? 453 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,551 He actually asked me to run the company with him. 454 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,250 Mama told me there'd be days like this. 455 00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,642 I'm not leaving Abbott, Jacob. 456 00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:02,167 I said no. 457 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,429 Obviously. Yeah. 458 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,518 No, I never- I never thought you would. 459 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,303 Actually, he, uh- noticed how confident I seemed, 460 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,739 and I said it's because I'm at Abbott. 461 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,090 First time I've been at a place that I love, 462 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,265 doing something that I love. 463 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,440 Yeah, with people that you love? 464 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:15,702 No, I didn't say that. 465 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,660 But this job did give me confidence. 466 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,140 You know, I never liked gardening before, 467 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,795 but I like doing it here. 468 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,492 Well, I, for one, am happy to know 469 00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,103 that we will be gardening together. 470 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,192 Green thumb buddies. 471 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,933 Mr. Eddie, I accidentally dropped my seed 472 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,588 into my mouth and then I accidentally ate it. 473 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,417 Am I going to have a lemon tree grow inside my belly? 474 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,766 Well, let's think about it. 475 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,986 Did you also swallow a wet paper towel? 476 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,467 Yes. 477 00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,513 Alright, let's go to the nurse. 478 00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:47,299 [ "You've Got a Friend in Me" playing ] 479 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,692 ♪ You've got a friend in me 480 00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:51,738 ♪ 481 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,653 ♪ You've got a friend in me 482 00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,263 ♪ 483 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,700 Is it hard when people I care about don't like each other? 484 00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,789 Of course. If I had it my way, Woody and Buzz 485 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,878 would have started out friends, yeah. 486 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:03,228 But I have to learn to accept 487 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,795 that what my students are feeling is real. 488 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:09,277 'Cause this is real life and not Pixar. 489 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,149 ♪ ...rough ahead 490 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,803 ♪ And you're miles and miles from your nice, warm bed ♪ 491 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,805 Oh. 492 00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:18,373 ♪ You just remember what your old pal said ♪ 493 00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:24,684 ♪ You've got a friend in me 494 00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,076 [ Laughs ] 495 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,469 ♪ Just reme- I don't- 496 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,210 I don't know the rest of the lyrics. 497 00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:31,256 See ya. Whoa. 498 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,518 Uh, what are you two doing here? 499 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:33,997 We're here to pick up our sisters. 500 00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,564 Oh. 501 00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:38,393 Okay, so you just happened to be here at the same time, 502 00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:41,483 and you're getting along very- very cordial? 503 00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:43,006 Cordial? Nah, we friends. 504 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:44,530 Yeah. Friends? 505 00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,923 Yeah. After you stopped us from fighting, we got to talking. 506 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:49,143 Seems like we have some common interests. 507 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:50,753 We both love butterflies. 508 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:51,537 Aww. 509 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,191 And beating people up. 510 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,845 Okay. Well, you know what? 511 00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,195 That's wonderful, girls. 512 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,805 Really. It is. 513 00:19:58,806 --> 00:19:59,806 Have a good night, okay? 514 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:00,894 You, too. Bye. 515 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,637 Bye. 516 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,384 [ Sighs ] 517 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,517 [ Line ringing ] 518 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:17,780 Ayesha: Hey, it's Ayesha. You know what to do. 519 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:18,781 [ Voicemail beeps ] 520 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,130 Hey, Ayesha. 521 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:22,350 It's me. Um... 522 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,265 I was wondering if you were gonna still come visit, 523 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:27,660 because I think you should. 524 00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:28,922 And don't worry. 525 00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:30,271 I won't tell Mom. 526 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,012 I promise. 527 00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,668 So, just give me a call back. 528 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,410 Okay. 529 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,629 [ Click ] 530 00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,590 The champ is here. [ Laughs ] 531 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,548 Start calling me Sir Johnson, 532 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:49,812 as I have been knighted by the Queen of Trash herself, 533 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:54,687 Ava's fantasy football roster. Oh! 534 00:20:54,688 --> 00:20:57,037 You only won 'cause you got on the waiver wire before I could. 535 00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,691 Which, by the way, how is that even possible? 536 00:20:58,692 --> 00:20:59,996 Didn't you have a spill to clean up? 537 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,390 [ Laughing ] Yeah, on aisle three-peat. 538 00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:05,088 - Hey, here's your cut. - What?! 539 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:06,612 You're helping him out? 540 00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,266 You were the one jumping on the waiver wire. 541 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,007 Yeah, I thought you had a moral objection to the NFL. 542 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:13,662 And while those moral objections still stand, 543 00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:16,492 I will do anything to see my man smile. 544 00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,630 [ Blows, imitates bird cawing ] 545 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:28,230 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0